Date: 12/3
Bus rides in Korea have not been going very smoothly for me. Well,
let me modify that. Bus rides in Gunsan have not been going well.
The first time I got on a bus by myself was to go to my country school
for the first time and that was a giant stress ball. And so, now
whenver I have to get on a bus my whole body just tenses up. I get
sick to my stomach and I really try to just not to think about it but my
body just freaks out.
Today was another example of how being on the bus can sometimes just
suck. I guess you could say this is a culture shock moment because
frankly it was a whole bunch of uncomfortable.
I got to the bus stop this morning nice and early. I had a cup of
coffee and a book and was prepared to just "try and enjoy" the morning
ride. The bus is on time and I get on without any problem. No big
deal. I set in a seat because I don't want to stand for the next 45
minutes and I pull out my book (Currently reading Girl With The Dragon
Tattoo--shout out to Jess for accidentally ordering two and then
giving the extra to me). The next bus stop (which is literally 100 ft
away from the one I got on) a disabled teenage boy gets on (I think
down syndrom--high functioning because he's riding the bus by himself.
Or it could be autism; I'm really not sure. I've never had to study
different disabilties--it's on my list of things to do). I've seen
him every Friday and usually he just sits in his seat and is quiet.
Today, that was not the case.
He is playing music from is cell phone. Which isn't that bad, but
it's pretty loud. Usually Koreans strive to just ignore each other and
not draw attention to themselves. But special case here.
I basically put in my own ear plugs and just try to tune him out--get
absorbed in my book for the next 1/2 hour. About five minutes later
my plan fails.
The boy is standing right next to me. And I mean, right next to. His
leg is brushing my arm everytime the bus sways. (which it is
constantly doing). I know Koreans have different concepts of public
space, but this was a little different; he is RIGHT NEXT TO ME. I
sort of just curl into myself and strive to ignore him.
That fails because two seconds later I feel a tap on my shoulder. I
look up and he's talking to me. I hold up a finger to indicate,
"wait" and then proceed to take off my ear muffs and ear phones (I was
trying to give the impression that I don't want to talk...I don't
think he got the message). Anyway, he starts babbling to me. And I
use the word babbling not because Korean sounds like babbling, but
because he literally sounded like he was babbling. He is disabled,
his words don't sound like regular Korean. Just like when an English
person with down syndrom talks it takes some getting used to because
they just form their words differently, their mouth moves in different
manners, it is the same in Korean. So I smile, put on my embarrassed
face, and make an X with my hands, saying "Hangulgo opposeyo" roughly
meaning "Korean language - do not have." I don't really know how to
say, "I dont speak Korean" so this is as close as I get. But he
doesn't acknowledge this. He keeps on going...in babbled Korean. I
keep trying to say sorry, or I point to my chest and say "English;
yogul-go" and then his chest "hangulgo" then back to me with an X.
Nothing is working.
Its hard enough to try to communicate to a person with some concept of
different langauges--but this boy cannot grasp that. I feel bad
writing this because no one really wants to read about disabled kids,
but just deal. I'm using this post as a bit of a coping relief.
Anyway, so eventually he gets frustrated with me and storms off.
Literally, he waves his arms, mumbles faster and then stomps off,
shoving people out of the way. This is when I look up and see about 4
people watching me. As I am the only non-asian on the bus, I get used
to people staring at me. It usually doesn't bother me, but this time
it did. They could have told the boy in Korean that I don't speak the
language, don't bother her, just leave her alone, etc. But they just
smiled at me, and kept on staring.
The first this happened, I just tried to ignore it. But then the boy
came back. Luckily (sorry to say that, but luckily) I had put my ear
phones back on by this point. Glee was my friend at this moment. I
just ignored the boy. He tapped on my shoulder insistantly, started
loudly talking to me, trying to get my attention, then was waving his
arms in my face, like really getting in my way. I just kept on
"reading." I guess I could have tried to tell him to stop, but I
think that would only have gotten him to try to engage me in a
conversation. I just wanted him to leave me alone, so I just ignored
his actions. I was pretty pissed that the adults around me didn't
tell him to knock it off. I obviously didn't want to talk to him.
But they didn't and after the boy talks to me for a while, poking me
ever 30 seconds, waving his hands in my face, really REALLY getting in
my personal bubble, his bus stop comes up and he clammors off the bus,
shoving other people out of the way and just making a big fuss.
I really didn't feel comfortable with this encounter. But I don't
realy know what to do. it's not like I can politely ask him to stop.
I guess if this happens again, I will be more forceful. When I look
back on it I should have stopped him when his behavior started to
really bother me. I am a person and just because he's disabled does
not mean that he can get away with pestering me. Just like the
autistic boy in my schoool, they do understand basic human ettiquette
and theres not reason for him to be doing what he did to me. I guess
I've just been raised to be politely indifferent to people with
disabilities so the idea of actually confronting one, in a foreign
language, is a little daunting.
Luckily I only take the bus on Fridays. So next friday I'm going to
sit in the back of the bus, where many people sit, and I'll try to sit
on the window so that people will be a buffer betwen me and potential
problems. And if I can't do that, I'll just say "No" to him. I know
that one "Anneyo." I'm also in a sticky situation because, as a
forgienor, I am a guest in their country--if I get in trouble--even if
I was in the right to say no to the boy, and it backfires and he
complains and I get in trouble--they will side with the Korean boy
over me. Regardless. So I don't want to cause any sort of commotion.
Which is why I retreated today. But I live here too. And I should
be able to ride the bus by myself without having ot go five rounds
with someone--disabled or not.
Okay...so you see...being on busses is not a fun time for me. Quiet stressful!
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